Thank you!

I want to send a bog Thank You to all my colleagues and professor that I have had the tremendous opportunity to share experiences, comments, and insights with over these past eight weeks. I feel that as I have personally participated in each week's assignments to look deeper into my own communication skills and abilities, I was able to gain more insight about myself and of others. I also thank you for all the feedback and comments! Best of luck to all on your continual path through the ECE program and in your current role in your ECE community!
Caitlin

Adjourning from a Group

The five stages of team development begin with forming a group, followed by storming or generating ideas, then norming group effectiveness, performing a task or goal, and finally adjourning and going off on the individual paths ahead (Abudi, 2010). Often times it's that final step of letting go and saying goodbye that becomes the most difficult challenge when a group becomes so close and involved in comparison to the challenges you may have faced along the way. I have been apart of groups and teams for numerous occasions - sports teams, college friends, study groups, project teams, family events, etc. When I read through the prompt for this week's blog, a couple of group experiences came first to my mind - one was my experience playing on a high school sports team, another was a college undergrad group assignment for a class I was taking, and also an annual occasion with my extended family. My first scenario with my high school field hockey team was probably the most powerful memory of adjourning from a group and also the most diverse at the same time. I played on the team from a sophomore to senior. The first year I was one of the underdog's, but as a group we worked well together on the field, battling through the pinches and sometimes coming down hard on each other, but our leaders portrayed respect of each teammate and an enveloping attitude to all the players, as well as the need for laughs, because when your goal requires closeness that's what you need to do to be successful (Abudi, 2010). It was because of their inclusion and strength in their leadership and direction that being on the team among friends and teammates meant more to me than just playing a sport. It was unfortunate that before during my senior year a second high school was built that I was redistricted to because the team was split and the norms we had developed broke making it difficult to rebuild new norms with strangers in such a short time. By the time the season ended and our concluding team gathering came, I was sad to see those three years of my life go by so quickly, but through all the distress of my final season, I had to let go with an unfortunate bad taste in my mouth. I feel like this personal example shows how when the strength of a group reaches above and beyond the goal of teammates, but delves into friendship, it becomes more than a physical, but also an emotional challenge to adjourn a part of our life that we've become so accustom that we forget how to live with missing pieces. Not that I had a choice because I was graduating, but this group was ironically the most difficult and easiest groups to leave. 
My second experience of working with colleagues to accomplish a goal as part of our coursework involved a lot less hardship. Of course our group was selected by the instructor so I had never personally met either of my group-mates, but we easily set out the group goals and delegated positions and tasks to accomplish. The motivation here was at a professional rather than personal level which made our roles and responsibilities of completing a common goal because we knew that our individual course grade depended on our individual performance. The was actually for a music appreciation class and the professor was very off-the-cuff and energetic so in the end we actually had to perform our assignment to the class which, as my communication anxiety scores concluded, absolutely mortified me, so that was definitely one group I was more than happy to get out of. I think this example proves that when you only get involved within a group at the surface it's easier to make that separation in the end. 
My last thought was of my family's childhood vacations where my father's 5 siblings would come together once a year to rent a beach house for a week and we all cram in with sleeping bags for 6 days. I didn't get so see them very often so this week was a really special time to gather and visit. Most of my family lives close by so I am able to see them from time to time, but it's always difficult to say goodbye to family members I don't see but once a year, especially when you build a close relationship in such a short amount of time. It's very bittersweet. 
Personally, at the finale of my coursework at Walden and the conclusion of the ECE masters program, I know there will be bit of a void, just because I won't be doing homework all the time, but honestly between my life at home and at work I don't think it will be a challenge. Working with colleagues through this program has been very different from my undergrad college experience simply because I don't physically go to a classroom and see the people in my class or the professor. I also took a leave of absence for some time so most of the colleagues that I began the program working with have since moved on to other classes beyond where I am now. I absolutely wish all my peers the best of luck with their future in early childhood!


References
Abudi, G. (2010). The five stages of team development: A case study. Retrieved from http://www.projectsmart.co.uk/the-five-stages-of-team-development-a-case-study.html

Week 5: Recent Experience

I deal with people on a daily basis, from colleagues, employees, parents, phone calls, and school enrollment inquiries to family members, my spouse and young daughter, so relational conflicts can also have their moments in my day. I can pinpoint two different types of conflict I've had recently with two very different people in my life that I have had to apply two very important communication skills in order to effectively work through the situation. The first scenario involved a work decision that my husband and I had work out based on our needs and financial capabilities of our school and the second scenario involves a school employee that has had some issues in her position for the past few weeks. However, as different as both scenarios are, and as varying as the conflicts I face with others are going to be down the road, I feel that two vital skills that have aided in my communication with others is to consider others and their needs and to listen, listen, and listen. Marriage is certainly one story that takes two 110% efforts to make a relationship and family run smoothly and being able to care for the needs and desires of another requires empathy and understanding for that person's emotions, needs, and characteristics that make them who they are. In the conflict we had to work through regarding a financial business decision, in which we were each on opposite ends of the discussion, I kept in mind that considering both of our viewpoints and listening would help me better understand the situation.
With the employee that has had some complaints recently, I have really had to learn about her as a person to understand what her needs are and, although her concerns and hypochondria stems from her very germaphobic personality, I am beginning to understand her need to simply express her thoughts and opinions. This particular employee works with infants in our youngest classroom and has two young daughters that she goes home with every night, but honestly she does not have many people/adults to communicate with on a regular basis. Therefore, I've learned that her complaints aren't always vital, but they may just be her way of reaching out to communicate and I have made a better effort to consider her needs and to listen in a way that might help her deal with these issues in her professional work.

Communication Evaluations

As I was going through the three communication evaluations for myself and then had another person do the same evaluations based on their perception of my communication, public speaking, verbal aggression, and listening skills, I wasn't truly sure how the results would compare based on my learning experiences over the past few weeks and knowing that image can speak a different language then what we may assume we portray. All three scores for all three questionnaires were in the same category - for the Communication Anxiety I am considered Elevated, for the Verbal Aggression I am considered moderate and well balance, and for Listening I am considered to be people-oriented. I was surprised after going through the questionnaires with one of the people I had assist in this assignment because as I was able to watch the answers they selected and some of them were completely different answers that I would have selected for myself. So I really thought their results were going to differ a lot more from my own than they actually did. Although their scores for me were a little bit higher then mine they were still considered in the same scoring brackets. I suppose I was also surprise at some of the answers that others selected for me. For example, I know that speaking in public especially to a large group of people is one of my least favorite things to do and I get extremely nervous, even thinking back to all of my classroom presentations I did as a student from grammar school all the way up through my undergrad. So I was surprise as well that for some questions that asked about my "shakiness" when speaking in public other people did not perceive my nervousness as much as I thought, and certainly not as much as I actually feel when I'm speaking to a large group of people.
Over the past few weeks and after completing this week's assignments so far, I am definitely learning more clearly how diverse communication can be. You can communicate by talking with someone or people, you can communicate by how your dressed, by your physical features regarding your skin color, hair color, or gender, and on the opposing end, your communication skills are also measured by your ability to listen and receive information that's both verbal and nonverbal. There are just many factors that come together in the simplest chat to a formal presentation that will effect the message you're trying to get across as well as the message you are receiving. The three questionnaires also provided me more insight about myself, how I feel about my own communication skills, and what others perceive from my communication. I think now that I know a little bit more about what I display there are some areas that I would really like to work on in both my personal and professional life. In addition to gaining some personal insight from this week's assignment, I was fascinated that the two people who I had asked to take the questionnaires on my behalf became very interested in discovering what their own scores would be and ended up taking the tests for themselves afterward. Maybe this shows that, as individuals, we are more concerned about our persona than we think and by acting on our curiosity we might gain more knowledge about ourselves and the ability to improve our communication where needed.

Cultural Communication

Considering cultural diversity, I do feel that I communicate differently depending on a person's cultural identity based on characteristics like race, religion, age, sex, orientation, political beliefs, etc. For example, during my family's annual holiday gatherings, my uncle, who I really only see a few times a year, and his girlfriend come into town. Her personality is very strong-willed and she's definitely not afraid to talk about her opinions with anyone, such as her political beliefs, her standpoints on how to raise children, etc. I personally don't need to agree with her viewpoints, but I tend not to begin "small talk" with her because of her argumentative and confrontation nature regarding politics or to raise children is extremely overwhelming. Now that might be more of a personal choice because of an personality clash, but I do also feel I communicate considering others background, knowledge, and culture in how our communication is conducted. I certainly don't mean that I look differently at a person's whose cultural background is unlike my own, but I do want to make sure that I consider personal and cultural differences and how these characteristics might create specific needs.

Communication in Action: TV Show

The TV show I chose to watch for this assignment was The Office.
While watching the show in without sound you could certainly relate to the environment and relationships between characters. Based on the scene and attire of the characters, you could tell that they were coworkers working in a professional place of business (also given from the title of the show). At the beginning of the show one character seemed to be showing a lot of strong emotional body language in a one-on-one interview as if he were frustrated or disgusted. For example, he used rapid and large hand movements and his facial expressions showed his emotions in his eye, eyebrow, and overall sour look. When he then came in contact with another coworker he again displayed some of the same physical reactions to them after some dialogue, moving his hands quickly with he words as if to get his point across more effectively and clearly. This example certainly showed that the relationship at that moment was more negative, maybe then usual, and their was some tension and frustration between them.
After looking at one relationship example and conflict between a few of the characters I concluded that the overall environment was unorganized and frustrating for these characters. While a few were unfocused they began to negatively influence another causing him frustration and stress with getting his own work completed. Most of the interruptions placed on this one particular character were done in nonverbal ways. For instance, one coworker decided to sit in his chair while another borrowed his phone without consulting with him first. Additionally, verbal interruptions were also used where two other coworkers were talking loudly nearby creating a disruption. In general my assumptions regarding their relationships and communication occurring at that moment were accurate, as much of the nonverbal language perceived was very clear and strongly emphasized. I think that if I had been following the show for some time that I would have a better understanding of the character's personalities and relationships with each other in this environment. This example just shows that importance of our body language and what is not said is so influential to how our communication is perceived by others.

Week 1 Effective Communication: Who Do I Admire?

When I think of someone I know who communicates well, I think of my husband. Not to say that he talks a lot, but when he does talk he is considerate of the receiving person and that he/she has a good understanding within the conversation. In our small school facility, I watch him meet with new and prospective parents and families that would like to see our facility, meet our staff members, and get an overall better feel for our programs. He always begins with a warm welcoming, which when communicating with a person, helps to set the tone of the meeting. Now I don't have a photo of him, but he's a big guy - about 6'5" tall and can definitely hold his ground. To a child he looks rather intimidating, so especially for him it's important to consider how he is physically perceived by others. It's interesting how most of what we communicate to others isn't words at all, but is in our body language. He consistently keeps that in mind when he communicates with others as a way of creating a warm setting.
Another thing he does well is sets an appropriate channel for which communication is received and uses a respectful and responsible method of doing so. Although I live with him and have to make hundreds of decisions with him and communicate as a spouse constantly, but when I have the opportunity just to overhear a conversation between him and a new parent to come to our facility for a tour, much of his communication falls under the category of control (O'Hair, 2009). He portrays our school and answers questions in a way to best show these parents our programs and how his/her child(ren) would fit into the environment. What I love most about his tours is definitely his ethics and his honesty. He doesn't want to dazzle parents and families just to reel them in to pack on our enrollment, but he really wants to show what we can offer and sets a picture for them to decide how best a fit we are, sometimes even suggesting to look at other facilities for their own benefit if he doesn't see a good match through his own experience as an educator. One last thing he does is shares his experience and knowledge, as an educator, in his communication. I think this helps to develop an affiliation, not for himself, but instead for his cause (O'Hair, 2009).
Overall, my husband has effective communication skills that come from his caring and considerate personality as well as experience, that I would love to learn from and be able to adopt into my own communication.
References

O’Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2009). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s.