I deal with people on a daily basis, from colleagues, employees, parents, phone calls, and school enrollment inquiries to family members, my spouse and young daughter, so relational conflicts can also have their moments in my day. I can pinpoint two different types of conflict I've had recently with two very different people in my life that I have had to apply two very important communication skills in order to effectively work through the situation. The first scenario involved a work decision that my husband and I had work out based on our needs and financial capabilities of our school and the second scenario involves a school employee that has had some issues in her position for the past few weeks. However, as different as both scenarios are, and as varying as the conflicts I face with others are going to be down the road, I feel that two vital skills that have aided in my communication with others is to consider others and their needs and to listen, listen, and listen. Marriage is certainly one story that takes two 110% efforts to make a relationship and family run smoothly and being able to care for the needs and desires of another requires empathy and understanding for that person's emotions, needs, and characteristics that make them who they are. In the conflict we had to work through regarding a financial business decision, in which we were each on opposite ends of the discussion, I kept in mind that considering both of our viewpoints and listening would help me better understand the situation.
With the employee that has had some complaints recently, I have really had to learn about her as a person to understand what her needs are and, although her concerns and hypochondria stems from her very germaphobic personality, I am beginning to understand her need to simply express her thoughts and opinions. This particular employee works with infants in our youngest classroom and has two young daughters that she goes home with every night, but honestly she does not have many people/adults to communicate with on a regular basis. Therefore, I've learned that her complaints aren't always vital, but they may just be her way of reaching out to communicate and I have made a better effort to consider her needs and to listen in a way that might help her deal with these issues in her professional work.
Caitlin
ReplyDeleteI have learned though working with people with a variety of personalities that sometimes they just need attention just like the children. I have staff that just needs someone to share a thought about a decision they may need to make in their personal life. Being an empathic listener helps in all conversations with family, staff and children.
Caitlin,
ReplyDeleteI agree with Wanda, showing empathy helps in so many situations. We have learned some great skills about effective communication, and that is one of them! I think another is to take the other person's viewpoint, which is exactly what you did with your husband. I have had to do that on many occasions in my marriage too because my husband and I come from very different upbringings.
Thank you for sharing your stories. It is always interesting hearing about what other type of issues goes on from a perspective like yours. I take it, you a director of a center? You are probably right about your employee, or maybe she just does not know how to ask for help and complains instead? Thanks for sharing.
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